I'm about to play my end of year playlist which is all the songs I have enjoyed this year in chronological order so some reflection on this past year seems in order.

There was a point earlier this year that I didn't think I'd live to see this day.
There were a few times this year where I really did not want to keep breathing, if i'm britally honest.
And that uh really can't be easy to hear because it isn't easy to admit and when i told my mum in November i freaked her out a bit oops.

BUT, nevertheless, I am still here. And i honestly really still am not sure how i even got past that point, because back then i couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel.
In all honesty I do still struggle to see it sometimes as right now it is rather far away, but at least it has come in to veiw and it is getting closer, inch by inch.

Enough depressing shit. I really am glad I did keep going. Because the days that followed were some of the best I've had in my life.
Coming back here and speaking to all of you again was something i'd never have even dreamed of doing, but i am so glad I did. I hadn't realised quite how much I had missed y'all.

I'm glad I kept living to see Thor Ragnarok and add another character to my ever growing list of faves.
It always sort of adds a new lease of life when I fall in to another fandom... however stupid it may be it is a reason to keep on living.

I'm glad i got to go on holiday this year, and see Solar a total of 3 times this year (in person). I only got to see Jordan once this year but we're working on trying to meet up in the new year before term starts.

I declared in May that this year was the worst of my life, and while that technically still holds true in the grand scheme of things, there were good things to come out of it too.

I'm just honestly so glad to have made it out of this year??? Like I really am???? I'm happy to put it behind me too and just move on with my life and towards recovery from the hell brain.

I started this year by reading ever Dan Smith x reader fanfiction on Tumblr. Who knows how I'll start 2018 but I feel like I nees to revisit those fics for old times sake, they were one big thing that made me want to see the year through.

They're saying that there is no better time to have a fresh start this year and while I agree, hell brain isn't where it needs to be for that to be possible yet.

...... anyway when did Absol get so sappy smfh guys.

Don't get used to this, it only comes out once in a blue moon.

Happy New Year, Meepers.